Reviewing Number One Singles from the Year 2001 (Part 2)

Reviewing British Number One Singles from the Year 2001: July-End of December

Date of Number 1: 07.07.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 1

Artist: Hear’Say

Song: The Way to Your Love

Fact: Their last chart topper. But people are still surprised they got two so…good going?

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘HEAR SAY HAVE TO GET BACK TOGETHER!!!!’

My Take: Ok confession: I used up all of my Hear’Say material in my previous post. In my defence, most unimaginative creators of one hit wonder play list would include these guys. Who remembers that they had a ‘good’ 3 or 4 more singles before they broke up?

So let us have a listen…It is telling I couldn’t find the official video. On YOUTUBE. I had to make do with a lyric video. Really think about that. It was not just me who forgot this song then.

Oh God. This is not great. The lyrics are so generic, I am forgetting them while I am listening to the song. It has that pop scrabble bag/bingo card quality:

‘What does the pop magic 8 ball say Bill?’
‘It says: We’ve got each other and that is all I ever need to know’
‘That will do’

One of the girls really can’t sing her verse very nicely, and due to the aforementioned rush to get the album out before we all forgot them there is not time to fix this or even make the orchestration sound better than a grade 5 keyboard player.

Having said that there are two things I like about it. That is right. Two things. At the end of the chorus there is an ominous note before the cheery verses start up again. I like that. It is like it is going: ‘Shit might get real.’ It never does but the promise remains. Also I do enjoy drama in my pop songs and after the middle 8, I was waiting for the dull as hell key change and while I did get it they really turned up the drama a notch with this really OTT break down of the chorus which actually made me sway a bit, like they had turned into a small and not very good choir.

This may have got to number 1 but it sold a 10th of Pure and Simple. Remember Hear’Say, children. If it all feels too easy, if you are handed a pop career and you find yourself going…’All my dreams came true with very little effort or skill. What is the catch?’ this is the catch. Nothing, but nothing, comes this easy without one hell of a fall.

Did I own it: No. Also, having just gone and watched another of their videos (‘Everybody’) which did not get the coveted number 1 spot…they were put together by industry experts after months of searching for the perfect pop band. How come they all, without exception, look really awkward? None of them look right. Is finding 5 people who have chemistry and charisma really that hard? Watch that video and tell me any of them look comfortable in their own skin. Or like they enjoy each others company. Seriously watch it:

Could I sing along now: No. Just finished listening to it and I would struggle.

Worth remembering: The morality tale? Yes. The song? Hells no.

 

Date of Number 1: 14.07.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 1

Artist: Roger Sanchez

Song: Another Chance

Fact: An American DJ, this was his only number 1

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘This song is a masterpiece…makes me feel depressed sometimes though.’

My Take: I used to own an exercise video and this song was used in the warm up. That is pretty much all I have. We haven’t reached my clubbing days. In fact, I am 25 and they have not hit yet so perhaps they never will. I’m alright with it. Ok trance isn’t my thing but this is fairly inoffensive, the beat is nice and even though the singer is wishy-washy it is a relaxing track. Well done American DJ man.

Did I own it: Only on an exercise VHS starring Helen from the second series of Big Brother. That is right. We still had VHS in the naughties.

Could I sing along now: Can’t really hear what the guy is singing so no

Worth remembering: No

 

Date of Number 1: 21.07.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 2

Artist: Robbie Williams

Song: Eternity/Road to Mandalay

Fact: His 4th solo number 1.. Brian May played guitar on it. Bet you didn’t know that!

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘My most favourite person in the whole world. Been a fan since I was 13 I am 23 now’

My Take: Jesus, Robbie Williams used to be in terrific shape. It is odd how you don’t realise how much someone has aged until you have a look back at old photos/pop videos. Anyhoo, the memento mori of Williams’ appearance aside, Eternity is a slushy ballad. The kind of slush you kick along the kerb after the sun comes out in winter. Any substance? The cynical part of me says no but it is a nicer song than the far more popular Angels. Yes I said it. Angels has always seemed so contrived while this song seems to come from something real, like he is thinking of a real person, coming out of a bittersweet break up…oh fuck me it was Geri Halliwell. He was singing about Ginger Spice. Never mind. Next!

RTM was an album track that may well have been added as a B side as an after thought as I don’t remember it getting any airplay and it is certainly not one of his signature tunes. The chorus consists of bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum…Which is…well…lazy to say the least. Hmm. In Williams’ own words I have nothing funny left to say. It is not the worst of his back catalogue but it is hardly genre defining. May I remind you of the chorus again…

Ok confession time: I used to like Robbie Williams. I did not have a huge amount of choice as my sister was a mega fan and we shared a room. But I did enjoy some of his songs and thought he seemed like a funny guy and a good performer. As time has gone on, I see him a desperately needy and mediocre talent who got lucky. What brought on the change? Have my musical tastes become more refined or did he get more annoying? Do I feel embarrassed because the brief shining moment when he was considered a credible artist, and it did happen I was there, was so long ago that it is no longer cool to say you enjoy a bit of Let Me Entertain You? Hard to say. It is odd because while some songs I used to like don’t sound so good now I am older it is rare I do such a 180 on a personality. I have not yet solved the mystery. But I think, I think, It has something to do with the hold he had on teenage girls who had just realised that the vulnerable, funny guy with a guitar in the common room was someone to pay attention to. But then you grow up a bit further. And realise that guy is not so much emotionally mature as he is incredibly self involved. I think that is what happened between me and Robbie. I am sure he is gutted.

Did I own it: My sister did. I know that cause of the overly earnest Williams praying pretentiously on the front cover while sporting a hideous new lion tattoo.

Could I sing along now: The chorus to RTM posed no challenges but Eternity is fairly flat. So overall, not really.

Worth remembering: No. I am sure he has had one or two that stand the taste of time but not these ones

 

Date of Number 1: 4.08.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 2

Artist: Atomic Kitten

Song: Eternal Flame

Fact: A cover of a Bangles song from 1989

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘Atomic Kitten are so beautiful, talented and humble, I still don’t understand why they didn’t attain world domination like spice girls did. It will always remain unbelievable for me.’

My Take: Right…Let us look at the song first. It is a very ballady ballad all over earnest hyperbole and awful sentiments about watching someone while they are sleeping. Yikes. Why do people think that is romantic??? It is in more than one song about love and devotion and it is just creepsome. Although it is supposedly about hanging out at the grave of Elvis Presley and noticing there is always candles burning for him which kind of works.

The original was a little nicer musically speaking, with some 80’s tastic guitars and serious string action…the Kitten track has a rather irksome use of repetition with a drum machine. However I find their cover quite winning and surprisingly it is the girls that sell it. Well one of them. While not as passionate as Susanna Hoffs, the song writer and lead singer in the Bangles, Natasha Hamilton’s confident and powerful belt on the big notes coupled with her chavy appearance is really appealing in its genuineness. She has a nice voice and carries the song to the finish with all the fierce determination of a teenage girl. Which she is. At the start of the video the three of them are all in white and stomping towards the camera looking like the three bitchiest girls at the party. It is quite startling to see how young they actually were when they brought this out. The song works when performed by 3 very young girls singing it like they are really happy to be in their first big relationship. It feels real. And therefore, for me, it is pretty good.

I know I am peddling back a bit on what I said before, when I declared the success of Whole Again nothing to do with the singers. But it was not a one off fluke of a hit. Lightening struck twice. Therefore, Atomic Kitten had a following. And there must be a reason for that, given that covering another girl band is a fairly uninspired idea. So maybe it was them. They felt real and Natasha sang well. And sometimes, that is enough.

Did I own it: I had it on the previously mentioned Funky Divas album.

Could I sing along now: Every line. Although the bit about watching someone sleeping is still icky, even with the back story.

Worth remembering: I think there are better ballads in the world but I do like it, so yes. But if I had to save only one version it would have to be the one done by The Bangles.

 

Date of Number 1: 18.08.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 1

Artist: So Solid Crew

Song: 21 Seconds

Fact: UK hip-hop garage act, their debut single. Over the years there has been up to 30 members of the crew at any one time.

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘So Solid was the shit ages ago! People who are here because of Celebrity Juice don’t understand garage’

My Take: There are rather a lot of them, aren’t there? The superfluous members aside, it is nice to see speed garage crossing over to the mainstream…oh wait. No it isn’t. Again, garage is not for me. The beat is grating and repetitive here and the song outstays its welcome. However there is something about the enthusiasm of the young group that makes the song work quite well. I actually quite enjoy the lyrical premise. They each have 21 seconds to impress, is the idea. Who wins? I think Romeo’s verse is the most charismatic, hence why he was saved till the end. I actually applauded when he spat out a cocky: ‘Romeo done!’ at the end. The chorus is quite good too. But the beat is worse than pointless…Overall I wouldn’t rush to hear it again but it is not terrible. Did that take more than 21 seconds? Emma done!

Did I own it: No

Could I sing along now: I had a vague recollection of the chorus, but no

Worth remembering: I am afraid it is a no, from my perspective. Although having listened to it a few times it is growing on me…

 

Date of Number 1: 25.08.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 2

Artist: Five

Song: Let’s Dance

Fact: Third and final number 1

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘Even though the lyrics are pointless it is better than today’s music!’

My Take: This song is probably best remembered as the beginning of the end for the ‘bad boys’ of pop, as indicated by the fact there were only 4 of them in the video. Youngest member Sean was represented by a cardboard cutout due to him having a nervous breakdown. Ok, the video is annoying cause it keeps interrupting the song to be all meta about the making of the video and it is irritating. So I am going to find a version of the song without all that…

That’s better…Sort of. This song is a fairly standard: ‘Hey guys? How about a party?!’ Track. The raps are forgettable and whenever they need to sing they use the tired and dated computer robot effect. The chorus is actually pretty bitchin’ in the same vein as Don’t Stop Movin’ but slightly more mellow and if it came on at a party I might pretend that it was lame while rolling my eyes but I would be following the instructions and dancing. And I like songs that work that way.

Knowing that this will be the last time we have 5ive (lame 5pelling by the way, guys) on the list I want to try and sum up my feelings about them: They thought they were cool for a boy band. But they were still a boy band. Not very interesting vocalists, not a jot of musical individuality between them, and good looking enough to please the pre teen market but not attractive enough to threaten anyone either. At best they were acceptable pop at worst arrogant wankers destined to be thrown on the boy band heap. To listen to them tell it, their brief foxtrot with fame was the second coming of The Beatles. Only with more drugs. What is their legacy? They sang a staggering number of songs about going up and down. Count them. See ya 5ive. Don’t bother coming back for your 90’s Addis puffa jacket. There was a new boy band waiting in the wings and we have changed the locks.

Did I own it: No

Could I sing along now: I couldn’t remember this one actually, so no

Worth remembering: I really don’t think they deserve too many songs in the vault of time and to me if any of their tracks deserve to survive it would be the genuinely epic Everybody Get Up.

 

Date of Number 1: 08.09.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 1

Artist: Blue

Song: Too Close

Fact: Well that was fast. New boy band, first number 1

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

N/A. All the comments are related to how inappropriate the lyrics were for 8 year old girls to sing…

My Take: Holy shit this song is filthy. I don’t even…It is actually, seriously, not even needing to read too much into it about dancing with a girl and getting a boner. The bridge goes like this…

Girl Vocalist: Step back, you’re dancing kinda close, I feel a little poke coming through…on you…

Blue: Girl I know you felt it, ooh you know I can’t help it…You know what I want to do…Baby when we’re grinding…I get so excited…

I just had a bowl of cheerios and I don’t want to see them again so I am going to go faster…This song is icky and I don’t like it at all. The end.

And their debut single and album are called All Rise. Wow. Just wow.

Did I own it: No

Could I sing along now: Oh I can now. Those lyrics will never leave. Cause my head hates me.

Worth remembering: If only I could forget.

 

Date of Number 1: 15.09.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 1

Artist: Bob the Builder (seriously? Again????)

Song: Mambo No 5

Fact: I hate the UK single buying public. A lot.

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘Best song ever!’

My Take: Oh for fuck’s sake. I just listened to Bob the Builder (aka Neil Fucking Morissey) sing already cheese-tastic Mambo No 5 but with lyrics about building and his buddies like in his first song. I just listened to that. Twice. Why? Why? Had the novelty of a cartoon character singing really not lost its appeal yet? Did we need the second saga? Did we need to find out how they were all doing outside the cartoon? What else had to be explored with these characters? What? Why? Who? What? What? What?

I think that has broken me. Nobody asked me to do this. I am doing this out of methodical interest in pop music. But how can I defend a chart that had a place for this? Not just any old place either. The top of the charts. I’m sad. I’m sad all the time.

Oh God. Now I have just thought of a depressing riddle for you:

Which of the following Bob’s is the odd one out?

A) Bob Marley

B) Bob Dylan

C) Bob the Builder

The answer is C. Because has had a UK Number 1. Two in fact. The other Bob’s have failed to match him in this regard. Also, Bob the Builder is the first non-human character who sang on a record to hit the top spot twice. Well done Bob. You deserve it…Now I give up.

Did I own it: NO

Could I sing along now: NO! NO! NO!

Worth remembering: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Date of Number 1: 22.09.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 2

Artist: DJ Otzi

Song: Hey Baby

Fact: A cover version of a 1962 song done by Bruce Channel. This was his only number 1. Thank God.

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘This is my childhood I love it so much’

My Take: Things have just gotten so bleak…I tried to keep this going. But after Bob the Builder scored his second chart topper I just couldn’t get back to this…And then when I finally do…I get a balding Australian DJ ripping off a 60’s standard and making it into a cheesy disco number. Why have the music Gods forsaken me? The only positive so far is it is listed as his only Number 1 which means when he tried to pull the same trick again with the song ‘Do Wah Diddy…’ the world had the presence of mind to say: ‘Fuck off. We are not buying any more of your crap. Come back when you have done something worth hearing’ And so we never heard from him again.

The vocal is generic, the video is cringey, the beat is awful, it sucks anything that is joyful out of the original and that football chant of a chorus…I want to vomit but I am too sad.

I do not want to be his girl. Not one bit.

Did I own it: No

Could I sing along now: Yes but I really don’t want to.

Worth remembering: Please would someone help me? Anyone? Even…

 

Wait. What’s that over there?

 

Date of Number 1: 29.09.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 4

Artist: Kylie Minogue

Song: Can’t Get You Out of my Head

Fact: Her 6th UK Number 1

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘I was 5 when this song and video first came out. When I first watched it, it was like magic to me. That look, that costume and dancing…I was all fascinated. I’ve never seen something like this before…I will never forget this moment for my entire life.’

My Take:

Thank you.

I…Ok…Words…

This song is magnificent. This song is like crack for the ears. It is like…if a rainbow dissolved into audio form. How does it do it? How does it sound both like robot music and like an emotional break down? I can’t explain why this works where so many other pop/dance tracks fail. I am not intelligent enough. All I know is it came along at the right moment. Look up the list of places it topped the chart: All over the world. 18 different countries. Nobody could get this fucking song out of their heads. And that is where the genius lies…It buries into your veins and won’t come out. The only way to cope is to accept it as part of your being. La la la la la la la la…

It is hypnotic, sexy, addictive, sweet, fun, compelling…Everything a song should be and more. Kylie may not have the strongest voice in pop but she had smart people working for her. She sells the lyrical simplicity and the musical complexity (Don’t laugh…I can’t keep track with how many hooks this song has) with equal success and her reward was the very 90’s ‘I Should be so Lucky’ would not longer be her signature track. No. This was now the gold standard to which all pop had to live up to.

Did I own it: Nope. I couldn’t get it out of my head though. I have it now. I often can’t get it out of my head.

Could I sing along now: la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la…

Worth remembering: YES. THANK YOU KYLIE AND KYLIE’S TEAM. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

 

Date of Number 1: 27.10.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 3

Artist: Afroman

Song: Because I got High

Fact: His only Number 1. Possibly because he got high but this has never been verified.

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

Nope. Just lots of jokes. From stoners mainly.

My Take: 2001 just took a turn for the awesome. Oh come on! Did you expect me to slag this song off? It is brilliantly funny. You get the idea pretty quickly. He was going to do something but then he got high instead and things are not going well but he still sounds like he is having a boat load of fun. It is kind of an anti-drug message After all halfway through the song he ends up in a wheelchair…only…he just sounds so happy…A friend of mine recently told me that he does all the voices on the song meaning his friends laughing and encouraging him are not actually there…It is like The Sixth Sense all over again.

I remember him being on TOTP and struggling to get through the censored version of this song with lines like: ‘I can’t say that bit either…And I know why…’ Eventually he turned to his band and said helplessly: ‘You can’t say anything on this show man!’ It was genius and I am so sad I can’t find the clip online. They should have just let him sing it. There are moral consequences for him after all: He ends up having to jack off cause he is too high to eat her pussy. If that won’t put the kids off then nothing will.

Did I own it: No. Everyone was singing at school though. It was a thing.

Could I sing along now: Yes. Although, brilliantly, I automatically censored myself on the dirty bits because that is how I sang it at 13. Not because I didn’t like swearing but because I genuinely didn’t know what the uncensored version should have sounded like. Thanks Youtube for filling in my educational gaps, you’re a pal.

Worth remembering: Yes. It is a uniquely funny song and is actually quite good. Nothing can ruin my mood now. Except…

 

Wait. What’s that over there?

 

Date of Number 1: 17.11.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 1

Artist: Westlife

Song: Queen of my Heart

Fact: With this, their ninth number 1, they equalled the tally of Spice Girls and Abba

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘So much better than One Direction…And I am a directioner!

What a twist.

My Take: Sigh. I will give them this, watching them in the video trying to sell this dreck with lots of emotional strains right in each other’s faces making it seem like they are insisting that their fellow band members are the ‘Queen of my heart’ was pretty funny.

I am going to be honest. I hate Westlife so much that this could be the greatest song of all time and it would be wasted on me because I just can’t stand them.

I suspect it isn’t though. This is all phoned in. Even the key change happens very quickly after the 2nd chorus like they are trying to get it over with as fast as possible. I have said it before and I may well say it again if these dickheads aren’t going anywhere: They couldn’t have enjoyed singing this stuff could they???

Could they???

Seriously, if anyone could ask them real quick, I’d be super grateful.

Did I own it: NO. As nice as it would have been to have 5 overly earnest, over paid bland-bots telling me, a 13 year old girl, that I was the queen of their heart I chose to let the opportunity go for some reason.

Could I sing along now: meh meh mehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehmehblabloopblasmey….

Worth remembering: Could be. But I seriously doubt it. In fact I am quietly confident the correct answer is no.

 

Date of Number 1: 24.11.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 1

Artist: Blue

Song: If You Come Back

Fact: Their second number 1 only two months after their last one.

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘If you are watching this you were born in the best generation of boy bands’

My Take: Oh goodie. Another boy band.
The formula for boy band videos…they are in a ware house when they are together but there are also shots of them looking sad in cafes and while driving around…you know…like regular people. A lot of leaning over like they need to pee just so we understand how super serious they are about wanting to know what they did wrong and that.

These kind of songs annoy me. Where they act all like: ‘No way! You don’t luv me anymore girl? But…But…Ok, if you tell me what I did let us make up and be all in love again please cuz gurl…I luv you’ All 4 members of Blue had babies with girls they then broke up with. Coincidence? Maybe it is irrelevant but it suggests the whole ‘I am a sensitive bloke sometimes’ thing is all a lot of bollocks. It always is. Guys who have to PROVE they are nice and deep are usually exceptionally stupid and lazy when it comes to personal relationships. Watch Blue doing anything and tell me you think any of them are remotely capable of handling an adult relationship built on respect. If I let them back in my life, as the song suggests I should, would they stop being smug cunts? I highly doubt it.

The sentiment annoys me, their whiny vocals are irritating, the beat is boring boy band pop 101, I especially hate the random totally pointless lines in the background like ‘come on…can you feel me…check it out…’ The one thing I will have to admit is, and it KILLS me to praise these self-satisfied spunk bubbles, the four members are at least distinguishable from one another which is better than Westlife. Actually, Lee (blonde) and Simon (black) are both…oh God…Not the worst singers??? Ouch that hurt. Lee is too nasal but his range suggests he could actually be quite good. I have to go shower now…

Did I own it: No. I had one Boyzone tape, one 5ive tape and even one Ultra CD. Remember Ultra? Nope. Not even the members of Ultra remember Ultra. But I never felt Blue. (word play!)

Could I sing along now: I remembered a little of the chorus

Worth remembering: Oh dear me no.

 

Date of Number 1: 1.12.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 1

Artist: S Club 7

Song: Have You Ever

Fact: Their 4th and final chart topper. They split in 2003.

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘So much better than the Bieber Generation. This song got me through some hard times…’

My Take: Deja vu anyone? This time last year (2000) they got to Number 1 with a wintry sad song for Children in Need called ‘Never Had a Dream Come True.’ I suppose if it ain’t broke…don’t be even remotely creatively adventurous. When I reviewed it I pondered the point of having a 7 piece act with only one singer. It is even worse here. I can only hear Jo. In the video the others are sort of mulling about awkwardly while Jo literally harmonises with HERSELF. She has SIX other singers and she is doing back up, riffing and singing lead. I did not hear even the merest hint of a male vocal or indeed anything that wasn’t Jo…

Why 7 of them? Why? Let me TRY to break down the purposes of each one…

Jo: Had a good singing voice.

Bradley: Sang a bit on the party records. Perhaps being the token minority was a significant selling point for him but it was not like the S Club were trying to have street cred… perhaps they wanted to get nominations at the MOBO’s? Although token minority maybe isn’t fair seeing as Tina had the good grace to be mixed race I suppose…Speaking of which…

Tina: Dark hair…um…I can’t be mean about Tina Barrett. I always liked her the best. She was a sweet dancer and always seemed like the posh girl who was being in a pop band for her gap year. She wore a ridiculously revealing dress at their film premier. Observe:

Even the man whose job it is to photograph girls in skimpy dresses doesn’t know what to do…

Jon: He often had floppy hair. Which I think is a marketable quality in a male pop star. Could do a back flip if the occasion called for it.

Rachel: Undeniable pretty. Very pretty. Dead behind the eyes though and quite astonishingly dull in interviews thereby proving once and for all that pretty girls often don’t feel the need to develop a personality. Sang lead on one of their singles. It was not a good vocal.

Hannah: Had short blonde hair so I guess she was supposed to be the fun, cheeky one? I don’t know I am not a miracle worker here…

Paul: Bit lost with this one…He sometimes had a soul patch so was he the…bad boy???

I am weary trying to solve the problem of the 7 piece group with only one singer. It is an easier issue to cope with when they did an up tempo song. They are all leaping about and they were better dancers than most pop groups of that time. But on the slow songs…Jesus Christ, on tour did the other 6 just take a cigarette break? May as well, it is not like they had to care for their voices…

What?

The song? Yeah it is fine. Pretty bland and not quite as sweet as the last slow one they did. Bye bye S Club. Good luck trying to navigate the world without 6 other people to hide behind.

Did I own it: I don’t think so. I seem to remember singing it a lot though so maybe.

Could I sing along now: Yes. All of the chorus but not the verses.

Worth remembering: No. You don’t follow up ‘Don’t Stop Movin” with something this bland guys. Not cool

 

Date of Number 1: 08.12.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 3

Artist: Daniel Bedingfield

Song: Gotta get Thru This

Fact: Dan recorded this at his house as he didn’t have a record deal yet. He got one though don’t worry. Calm down guys he is fine.

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘Man I hear today’s music and listen to this and think God music has gone to the shitter I think we should bring back music like this thumbs up if you agree.’

My Take: He lost two points right away by spelling ‘through’ as ‘thru’ What a twat.

Ok I didn’t really take him in at the time. A lot of people at school were making fun of his girly voice. Whenever I saw his face I felt physically repelled which is pretty harsh but he had these intense little eyes…and always seemed to be posing like it was for a naff calendar. You know, ‘here is Dan, relaxing in his penthouse…’ But I did not have an opinion on his music. I just didn’t like his face.

The vocal is a little unexpected as it does not fit the guy at all but once I got past that…It is a pretty good song. I wouldn’t have listened to it for any other reason than this silly project but the beat is intense and he can sing. I didn’t see that coming…It is possible I am afraid to be harsher than that because one of my friends is a big fan and was very clear that she wouldn’t tolerate Beding Bashing. But I think it is good…ish. It is not the kind of thing I would normally listen to and I still don’t find him remotely appealing but the song is suitably moody. It kind of captures that feeling of being mentally lost but determined to keep going…Plus it is tight, a lot of these kind of tracks are 5 minutes long but this is over after 3 which is just right. The musical arrangement reminds me of ’21 Seconds’ which also grew on me the more I heard it. How about that. I quite like UK Garage.

Daniel Bedingfield: He may be a bit naff but he is better than The Craig David. His voice may be a bit feminine but it conveys emotion well here. He may have been a flash in the pan but he was a talented one. Kudos wee Dan Bed.

Did I own it: No. I got thru it though.

Could I sing along now: The chorus was pretty easy to remember.

Worth remembering: Hmm…I feel I could live without it but I wouldn’t object to it living on.

 

Date of Number 1: 22.12.2001

Number of weeks at the top: 3

Artist: Robbie Williams & (wait for it…) Nicole Kidman

Song: Somethin’ Stupid

Fact: What the hell? Also, this was a cover of a Frank and Nancy Sinatra duet from 1967. It also got to Number 1. Although…it seems like a love duet…Wasn’t Nancy his daughter? It was the 60’s I suppose?

Overzealous top voted Youtube comment relating to how much better music used to be:

‘I love this song even tho its really old I played it on my trumpet because I was in a band.’

My Take: Huh. It is an appropriately WTF ending to what was a pleasingly random year for music. Well, compared to 2000. I mean…how did this end up happening? Did they have mutual friends? I suppose he knew Kylie and Nicole is Australian…So maybe they knew each other? I don’t…I just…I forgot ALL about this until today. What a strange time 2001 was: Kidman was a ‘singer’ Robbie though he was Frank (although he is about to release ANOTHER swing album…sigh) and this was Christmas Number 1.

It is hard to object to the track and my only criticism of the song itself is it is not a very interesting duet. It has a pretty melody and an unusual sentiment for a love song but vocally it is not very challenging and not even the star power of soon-to-be-oscar-winner Nicole translates into a memorable record. It borders on novelty actually. She sounds nice and it suits her ‘range’ better than her work in ‘Moulin Rouge’ but…it is such a strange choice. The video is goofy fun and I suppose they have some chemistry considering they probably had just met that morning, although it is hard for Robbie to express desire for someone who isn’t himself…But feel free to watch it if you fancy some PG-13 antics.

So Robbie and Nicole. This actually happened. Goodbye 2001 you wacky son of a bitch.

Did I own it: No. I think even my Robbie obsessed sister drew the line at his self indulgent album of Sinatra karaoke.

Could I sing along now: Yes. In a monotone which is how everyone sings this song apparently.

Worth remembering: No. Sorry Nicole. Music is just not your friend.

 

Round Up

Total Number of Number 1’s:

30. I got my wish for less songs and boy howdy, was I grateful.

 

My hopes for 2002:

Less Westlife. More than two or three brilliant songs would be nice too, but you can’t have everything.

 

Best Song:

Can’t Get You Out of my Head is the only song on the list that I guarantee will still be being played in 10 years time. I struggle to explain why it works but it really does. Don’t Stop Movin’ came a close second though.

 

Worst Song:

There was plenty of shit to choose from but only one can be my winner. Lazy, pointless and just awful. It was so bad, I stopped writing this for MONTHS. And you can enjoy it here:

 

Surprisingly Not Terrible: 

What Took You So Long was a much nicer song than I remembered but it is 21 Seconds that I keep coming back to:

 

How did this happen? Song:

Too Close was confusingly gross but this can only really go to Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman…the duet nobody was waiting for:

 

Nostalgic Overload:

I have a soft spot for the most unexpected success story of 2001. 4 weeks at Number 1! 4 weeks! Well done Kittens. Here is a video of them miming and dancing horribly in the cheapest outfits ever worn. Good times:

 

A Song to save in the time capsule just to confuse historians:

It Wasn’t Me. Obviously. Let’s all join in with Shaggy now! Hfworejfpo45p t045jow….

 

 

Next Time…The Reality TV Pop Stars Invasion continues, a quiet legend dies and the King lives on… January-End of June 2002

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